Text Message from my Step Mother

I just deposited love, hope, joy, health, prosperity & blessings into your account for 2010 your pin# is G.O.D. please deposit in someone else's *:)

Great another pin/password to remember.... thanks... like I don't have enough on my plate.....

The Cremated Husband

Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patiio table.  Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him. "You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes the said, "Remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!" Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, "Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money!"  Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "Remember that blow job I promised you? Here is comes!"

This is actually a Facebook post from a cousin, but it was too good not to post here:

WITHOUT GOD, our week would be, Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday, Shatterday. Seven days without God makes one WEAK. (if you are not ashamed of God, post this to your status.)

TEARSDAY!!!

I love how your cousin skipped right over that whole

does-god-exist-or-not thing and went stright for the shame.

FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: Theres a fight between GOD and  SATAN. If your 4 GOD send to 10 people. If your 4 SATAN close the phone.